Best Local Adaptation of the Two Cow Joke
Went out for ice-cream at Udders today and came across the best local adaptation of the two cow joke I’ve seen so far:
Singapore: You have two cows. One is cow-peh, the other is cow-bu.
Yes, it’s lame, but my sense of humor tickles me that way.
Sadly, nobody caught the reference, despite a class of 16 consisting of men and women between the ages of twenty-somethings to over forties.
Meh.
Another Year Older, Still Not Much Wiser
Counting down in the losing fight against entropy. At least I have something to really remember the birthday by ~ a headshot in a Pain(t)ball game in the morning:
Remember, boys and girls, Firendly Fire - Isn’t!
So, with a little over a month to go, we waddled off to the shops armed with a shopping list and advice as long as my arm….. only to be bewildered by the range of baby products available.
Standard neck, wide neck, teat size (stop sniggering!), vented, non-vented, plastic bottles, glass bottles, BPA-free etc the list just goes on, and that’s only for the bottles!
In my confusion, one lable leapt out at me: Starter Pack, or rather the Avent Newborn Starter Pack to be precise.
I wonder why the salesgirl gave me a funny look when I asked if there were Booster Packs available?
And what better way to spend it than over a game of Zombies!!! this dark and stormy night?
Happy Halloween everyone!
It’s been 12-hour work days for so long, that I forget there’s life beyond the computer screen. Sadly, with the amount of chair parade I’ve been getting, my toes are starting to be eclipsed by my tummy and the sword muscles are getting rather soft.
But that’s not what the title of this post is about.
Rather, there’s been a bit of a storm in the teacup over how some of the roles and responsibilities and additional workloads have been parceled out at work, that have left people grumbling and muttering things about their primary and secondary workscope.
Personally, what I feel is that work is simply work. If the boss gives me something to do, I’ll just do it; it’s not a matter of whether if it’s something in my terms of reference or not…. it’s just *work*
That said, there is something that should be quantified along with the first statement: I am not superhuman. In life, as with all things, there is a matter of bandwidth. If the management is willing to drop more work on me, then they should be equally willing to accept that with the time and effort diverted to other new projects, less resources can then be spent on what I was working on originally, with it’s consequent drop in quantity and/or quality.
As a professional, I’ll do things to the 100% of my capability; I may not have to like it, but I’ll do it. But that does not mean that with 100% in project A and 100% in project B, it adds up to 200% output in total; it’s just 100% of effort to whatever that has been allocated the time and resources.
TANSTAAFL, people, TANSTAAFL.
late night / come home / work sucks / I know
Note to self:
The next time the boss asks if there are any questions, the correct answer should, in fact, be:
“How the hell do I get out of this shitty outfit?”
Alice came to a fork in the road. “Which road do I take?” she asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Working till tomorrow morning on this glorious Saturday.
F***
So, yeah.
Now that we have a baby on the way, we’ve been thinking about getting a bigger place for ourselves. Although we’ve been staying in our current place for more than five years now, it was a house that we transformed from a cramped run-down little place that had pink floors, pink walls and even pink-coloured cornices (which made it look rather like a chinese brothel!) to our dream home filled with memories. However, now taking a good hard look at our current and future requirements, it will be rather difficult to house us, the baby and probably a maid in our current premises, especially in years to come. And so, it’s a-househunting we go.
Some might think that this probably isn’t a good time to buy properties, especially with the property market as mad as it is now, but if one is willing to look (and willing to accept long commutes to work!) there are affordable gems to be found.
However, I’m not writing to to wax lyrical about how to find cheap property in a property boom market (after all, it’s buy high, sell high; buy low, sell low). It’s about people have come knocking on our door, peering into our living room and asking if we’re selling our place, EVEN BEFORE WE’VE PUT IT ON THE MARKET!
It’s wierd, like there’s some kind of sixth sense in investors and agents who know when people are going to sell and they swarm in like a feeding frenzy. It’s annoying and an invasion of privacy when total strangers simply waltz up to your front door and just try their luck. I mean sure, we’re going to be showing our place to people, but it better be when we’re good and ready, meaning we’re happy with the cleaniness with every thing in it’s place, or heck, when I’m properly dressed and not in some tatty old tee-shirt I use to lounge around at home.
/end Grumbling/
Staying home today and tomorrow drugged out of my mind.
At least I’m not coughing as much after the first hit of meds.
Zzzzzzz…..
Current Read:
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies
Listening to:
DragonForce: Inhuman Rampage
Mood:
Well-fed & happy
Hmm. Got tagged again on Facebook
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you! (or so this pre-scripted message reads)
1. I’m a Scorpio with all that it implies.
2. I’m a dreamer, with an imagination that runs riot even in my waking hours.
3. Despite #2, I seldom remember the dreams I have when I’m asleep.
4. I love to eat. Never refuse food may as well be my life’s motto.
5. I don’t exercise enough.
6. I enjoy cooking, but not washing up afterwards.
7. I think I have a pretty high tolerance for physical pain, which probably explains why I swing swords.
8. I’m aggressively non-confrontational. I don’t like arguing and heated tempers. Nothing constructive gets done when passions run high and people lose perspective when heated up. (Head shots with a sniper rifle at 1km is another story….)
9. Probably because of #8 some people think I’m a coward.
10. I have a mean streak. And it’s probably pretty wide.
11. I’m bad at remembering faces and even worse at remembering names. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you if I don’t remember you. I just need reminding sometimes.
12. I love to read. Give me a book and a place to snuggle up and I’ll be content.
13. I prefer the company of my own mind. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy socialising as well.
14. I love the sea!
15. My favourite place is probably Plymouth, England where i spent the best three months of my life.
16. I don’t watch my spending, and so I have never built uip savings until I met my wife.
17. Faced with a squat or sit toilet, I’d choose the squat.
18. I’m a folder, not a crusher.
19. Ever since I’ve discovered the Zombie Squad organisation, I’ve taken to carrying a multi-tool, torch, and compass with me where ever I go.
20. One day, I hope to buy a 25′-30′ pocket cruiser to sail to Tioman/Phuket for dive trips.
21. I love bags. I probably have too many for a guy.
22. Many of my friends are not straight. However I am very much so.
23. I probably have too much anime; some stuff which I’ll never get around to watch.
24. I probably play too much video games as well.
25. My wife calls me a grubby boy. Probably for good reason.
Audio / Visual Update ‘09 - IV
Audio/Visual Update
Audio:Slave
In the B&O:
+Quincy Jones: Big Band Bossa Nova
+Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix
+Café Tel Aviv - Middle East Chillout
+DragonForce: Inhuman Rampage
Visual:Slave
In the DVD:
+Mama Mia! The Movie
+Journey to the Center of the Earth
+The Good, The Bad, The Weird
+A History of Violence
+Paprika
+The Usual Suspects
+Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
+Akira
Animania:
+イヴの時間
+ToraDora (とらドラ)
+To Aru Majutsu no Index (とある魔術の禁書目録)
+Rideback
+K-On! (けいおん!)
+Eden of the East (東のエデン)
+Strike Witches (ストライクウィッチーズ) DVD
+Seto no Hanayome (瀬戸の花嫁) DVD
+Beck: Mogolian Chop Squad
Movies to Catch - ‘09:
+Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea (崖の上のポニョ)
+Slumdog Millionaire
+Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance
+Full Battle Rattle
+Reclaiming the Blade
+Watchmen Missed this!
+Terminator: Salvation
+Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
+2012
+Star Trek
+Up
+Angels and Demons Missed this….
+Fanboys
+Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
+Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
+Fast and Furious Missed this.
+G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
WTF, Hollywood? WTF?
+Astroboy
+Dragonball: The Movie I *so* regret watching this…..
Movies soooo bad, it’s gotta be gooood
+Zombie Strippers
+Jack Brooks - Monster Slayer
+Robo Geisha
Current Reads
RAWs
+謎の彼女Ｘ - Chapter 35
+魔法 先生 ネギま! - Chapter 257
+会長はメイド様! - Chapter 39
+ソード・ワールドRPG 2.0 (SW2.0)
+Bakuman (バクマン) - Chapter 45
Dead Tree
+Homework for Grown-ups: Everything you learnt at school… and promptly forgot
+Dragon Warriors RPG 2008
+The Book of War
+Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes
Online
+Questionable Content
+Real Life
+The Order of the Stick
+Turn Signals on a Land Raider
Owwwwweeeeee
I am in pain. My body aches.
Used to be that I can take the annual fitness test in the morning and still go about my work with just a short rest…. but not anymore. Though the requirements to pass have gotten lower as I get older, the body seems to be getting slower and stiffer as well.
But still, to complete the 2.4km run in 12min 15sec at 37 years old is pretty good eh?
June has been a month of travelling for me; probably the most since I’ve started working. It started with a working trip to Yogyakarta, Indonesia:
This was followed by a road trip up to Muar, in support of preparations for a friend’s wedding and finally to KL for another working trip last week.
July looks pretty heavy too, with another trip up to Muar again this weekend for the wedding proper and followed by a week-long working trip to Surabaya at the end of the month.
I don’t really mind the travelling, as it’s one of the things I like to do. And the great food that goes along with the change in scenery is a plus in my books:
It’s just that with all this travelling, especially over the weekends, simply means less time with the sword. I can feel my stamina falling and joints getting stiff again… not to mention the extra inches the good food has been putting on my waist. The occasional runs I do in what ever time I can steal do not make up for the lack of exercise.
Sigh.
So, there we were in Jakarta’s Soekarno-Hatta International Airport on a Friday afternoon, having missed our connecting SQ flight because of a delay on the GA flight from Yogyakarta.
No problem, right? Just hop onto the next flight home; it’s only a couple of hours’ wait right?
Eh? It’s full up? And the next one and the last plane out too?
So, now what? Waiting list? Okay, so when will we know?
Whaddya mean we gotta wait till our names are called?
*Breathe*
Ooookaaaay. No biggie. We’ll just stay an additional night and go back first thing tomorrow.
Eh? You’re fully booked tomorrow until Sunday night?!?
*Panic*
Okay, okay. How about we pay the difference and go onto Business class?
It’s fully booked too?!? WTF?!?
Seriously folks. If the airlines are crying about poor performance, I just don’t see it on the ground.
What freaking recession?!?
Going to Yogyakarta ~
See you guys in a few days >_<”
Thank you to all our friends, who kept us in your prayers and thoughts. We’ve waited a long time for this to come, and we’re giddy with excitement.
Three months down, and six more to go!
Got myself a Blackbird, Fly a while ago, and have been going back to old-school film photography messing around with with it.
The Blackbird, Fly or BBF is a twin lens reflex (TLR) film camera like the old Rolleiflex, but using more easily available 35mm film instead of the usual medium format 120’s.
Taking pictures with it, I’ve come to realise a few things:
1. I’m re-learning to compose my shots and to take into account lighting and shadows. Digital photography has spoilt me somewhat with automatic settings and ease-of-use so much that I just snap without really thinking. It’s not really an issue since it’s digital, and I can simply delete rubbish shots, but isn’t it nicer to have just about every shot you take come out perfect?
2. With the view-finder located on the top of the camera, the perspective and composition of the picture immediately changes. Many of us are used to bringing the camera up to head-level to take pictures, simply because the view-finder is located on the back of the camera. Even with the advent of digital photography, the LCD screens, though large these days, are still located on the back, and so necessitates that the user bring it up to eye-level to compose a shot. With the TLR, shots are taken from about waist high, and it reminds me strangely of how a child might see the world.
3. Made mostly out of plastic, the camera feels very much like a toy. But like the Lomo cameras which are similarly made of plastic, it works, and gives funky lo-fi images with high colour saturation and even the occasional light leakage. It’s weird, but I think I’ll call it “artistic” instead.
4. The most common comment I get with the camera is: “Wow! That’s a really old-school style of camera”. Usually followed almost immediately by: “What do you mean it’s not digital?!?”
Going to mess around with it some more. Look out for more shots from the BBF in the flickr set.
:Links:
+flickr set
+SuperHeadz
+Multiple X Choice
+GrannySnaps
Today marks the last day of training in Singapore by Ken, who leaves our sunny shores for Finland this Tuesday. After two years of trading sword strokes and other assorted bullshit, I’ve come to appreciate his wit, his humor, his encyclopedic knowledge, his dedication to our art, and most importantly, his friendship.
And so, we wish him the best in his journeys, and may his life be long and prosperous.
Good bye, and Kiitos - I’ll see you again when the Brown Horde once again invades the Frozen Wastes of the North.
It’s been crazy at work ever since I moved to my new position. In some ways it is a promotion of of sorts; in responsibilities if not in rank or pay. And to top it off, my predecessor has left me pretty big shoes to fill. Not to cast aspersions on the guy, but I’m discovering rather painfully that his and my working styles are very much polar opposites to one another. His is a dynamic, seat-of-the-pants, fight-fire-now style that looks hghly pro-active, but with the rushing about, record- and book-keeping tends to fall by the wayside and on many occasions results in duplicated and/or wasted effort. I’d like to think that I’m more of a laid-back, slow and steady, with minimum wasted effort kind of guy. All this running and shouting, it gives me a terrible headache….
Motivator/De-motivator
I find myself feeling more and more unmotivated towards work as the years go by. The passion that drove me to this profession was, and remains the Sea, and to be told that I’ll be driving a desk for the rest ofmy career is enough to drive a man to despair. It’s not all doom and gloom though; looking back, I realise that I’ve been given opportunities and have been able to make a difference in the world; and the recognition for a job well done was well worth the effort. However, highlights like these tend to be few and far in between.
A Swordsman in Finland once said: “only prostitutes work for money”. And these days, I cannot but help see a glimmer of truth in that statement. Coming home from work these past few weeks, I sometimes feel as if I have been well and truely screwed-over. Perhaps one day I will follow in the footsteps of so many friends and colleagues to tender my papers and leave for greener pastures, but nothing so far has tickled my fancy and ignited my dreams.
For now, I’ll continue, if not for King and Country, then to pay the bills and to use my munificent pay-cheque to indulge in my hobbies of travel, gaming and swordsmanship.
Somebody at work came up to me and said they saw me on tv a few days ago, and after a quick search, I found where.
Can you see me? 
And so, I got tagged. On Facebook, of all places. Anyhoo, here goes:
ANGER:
Q: Who did you last get angry with?
A: An angry drunk, who insulted my friends, my family and called me of all things, a coward who’s too pussy to start a fight with him. And to top it off, he suddenly headbutted me and smashed my nose. I really, really, really wanted to go Fiore on his ass… but the mission came first.
Q: Weapon of choice?
A: Swift kick to the nether regions.
Q: Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
A: If I have to.
Q: How about of the same sex?
A: Oh yes….
Q: Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
A: Probably my wife.
Q: Pet peeve?
A: Stupidity.
Q: Do you keep grudges?
A: I’ll forgive, but not forget.
SLOTH
Q: What is the one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time?
A: Go jogging. My job sucks.
Q: Latest time you ever woke up?
A: 6pm.
Q: Name a person you’ve been meaning to contact, but haven’t
A: Mom.
Q: What is the last lame excuse you made?
A: Who? Me? I never!
Q: How many times did you hit the SNOOZE button on your alarm clock today?
A: Three times. The last one is my dogs barking because they need to go for a walk…
GLUTTONY
Q: What is your OVERPRICED beverage of choice?
A: Coke from Mac’s. At a cost price of $0.08 per regular drink, inclusive of cup, lid, straw, ice and actual drink, for a sale price of $1.20. I know, because I’ve worked for the Scotsman for four years.
Q: Meat eaters-White or dark meat? Vegetarian-Vegan or not?
A: My motto is: “Never Refuse Food”.
Q: Greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event?
A: Two bottles of wine, two beers, half a bottle of whiskey, half a bottle of vodka and a Graveyard, but not in that order. There was probably more after that, but I don’t remember…
Q: Used a professional diet company?
A: Huh? Whatzzat?
Q: Do you have an issue with your weight?
A: No.
Q: Sweet,Spicy or Salty foods?
A: See motto above.
LUST
Q: How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
A: I plead the Fifth.
Q: How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting family/Doctors)?
A: I plead the Fifth
Q: Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the gender of choice during a normal conversation?
A: Yes.
Q: Have you “Done it”?
A: Yes.
Q: What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
A: I look at the overall package. But if I have to pick, I’d go with nice hair.
Q: Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
A: Nope. Been accosted by pimps many times though.
GREED
Q: What’s your guilty pleasure store?
A: Bags and Books.
Q: Rich or Famous?
A: Rich. It may not buy me happiness, but it buys things that make me happy.
Q: Accept a boring job if it means MEGABUCKS?
A: Hell, yes.
PRIDE
Q: Most proud of what accomplishment?
A: Got my wife to marry me, despite my character flaws and all.
Q: What one thing have you done that your family is most proud of?
A: I have no idea.
Q: Annoyed by finishing in second place?
A: No, so long as I finish.
Q: What’s one thing that you have yet to do but would like to accomplish in your life?
A: Kids.
“FACEBOOK” ENVY
Q: What item (person) of your current FACEBOOK friends would you most want to have for your own?
A: Cheryl & JE’s beautiful old house in Sweden.
Q: Which of your FACEBOOK friends would you want to go on “Trading Spaces” with?
A: None. I’m happy where I am.
Q: Of all your FACEBOOK buddies, which one do you envy the most?
A: None. I have Zen.
FINAL QUESTION: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DEADLY SIN?
A: Gluttony. I love to cook and I love to eat. Probably will die of heart failure soon.
I bought me a damascus steel knife from Tsukiji market!
I’ve gotten a knife from these guys previously, and was actually just visiting the place again to look at the shiny sharp things when the patterning caught my eye. A quick check with the boss confirmed my suspisions and immediately turned into a purchase.
As susual, they took the knife for final polishing and sharpening once the deal was struck, but this time they actually asked for my name so that it could be carved onto the blade!
It’s not a sword, but perhaps one day….
Damn. I’m getting good at this!
Saw this butterfly emerging from it’s cocoon while doing some spring cleaning today, so I grabbed my camera and messed with it for a while.
Turned out pretty ok eh?
Laughed myself silly when I saw this:
Round and round we go,
When it ends we’ll never know.
Looking back, 2008 was pretty much a year of gloom and doom, and it looks like 2009 won’t be any much better as well.
2008 New Year’s Resolutions
+ Continue slimming to a healthier level (I’m not fat, just somewhat overweight) | Gained more weight actually. But I got a silver for IPPT! That’s gotta count for being healthier right?
+ Go running! | …. kinda, sorta.
+ Go diving somewhere exotic ~ Bali or the Great Barrier Reef, maybe? | Too busy. Damn.
+ Travel and see the world some more. | Went to the Persian Gulf. Although was there not for a holiday…
+ Head over to Helsinki, Finland to train at the School of European Swordsmanship. Done, and it was a great learning experience.
2009 New Year’s Resolutions
+ More sports and a healthier lifestyle
+ Travel! For fun and not work!
+ Continue gaming.
+ Go to Helsinki again and improve my swordsmanship.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Yes, I was bored.
+Jack Spade Canvas Day Bag
+Jack Spade Boar Skin Wallet
+Sony Ericsson W850i
+Victorionox Card Case
+Quetin i lambë eldaiva: A Quenya Course
+Chinese Knock-off Swiss Card
+SAF SOG EOD Powerlock
+Ridolfo Capo Ferro’s Gran Simulacro dell’arte e dell’uso della scherma
+Steve Jackson’s GEV micro game
+Eye Drops
+Spare Pens
+Moleskine
+House and Office Keys
+Current Read: Homework for Grown-ups: Everything you learnt at school… and promptly forgot
+PSP in pouch with remote and headset
On 2 Dec, the UNSC passed Resolution 1846. What that means, in a nutshell, is that for the next year, forces may enter Somalia’s territorial waters and use “all necessary means” to fight piracy.
Does this mean that the kid gloves are off?
I don’t think so, for while this effectively gives the players carte blanche to enter Somalia waters, it does not answer what happens after that. Supposing that some pirates are caught; what then? Are they to be extradited to Somalia to face trial? Charged with armed robbery in accordance to the State who made the arrests? Do the navies even possess such law enforcement powers in the first place? More likely, we would see a repeat of the previous incident where captured suspected pirates were released unharmed. Not to mention the ruckus that would probably arise if the pirates were killed in the fight (Amnesty International, anyone?)
Weighty things to think about. And more to be done about the business.
:Links:
+UNSC 1846
+What a Cooperative Maritime Strategy looks like
+Pirates Release on Beach
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
